When I was a teenager the amount of insecurity I felt was kind of insane. Thinking about myself at that age is like thinking about a stranger. As a teen girl we all deal with our insecurities differently. Some bully as a way to release some of that anger and sadness, some act like class clown so that at least they can make people laugh, some act really promiscuous- any attention is better then none...
I did my best to avoid the opposite sex. I was insecure, but I was very shy as well. So shy that male attention made me feel uncomfortable. I would see girls around me make fools of themselves in front of boys because they were starving for any reaction. They NEEDED that male attention, like they needed sleep or food. They thought it was going to make them feel better about themselves, but they were doing things that would be wake up calls later and things they would really regret. When my friends were hanging out with guys (we went to an all girls school) I would make up an excuse and not go. I don't know if part of the reason why I didn't try to feed my insecurity with any male attention was because I grew up with so many brothers or what. All I know is that I fed my insecurity by just being miserable, depressed, withdrawn and moody.
I had VERY strong intense crushes and infatuations with boys. Most of my journals are filled with pages and pages of my dramatic (and very funny) feelings, but I couldn't act on it or flirt or anything. At times I would find myself getting very jealous when girls were so confident and composed.
I try to educate girls on staying strong and not ignoring themselves and their instincts if at any time they feel uncomfortable. If a part inside is whispering that they might be doing something they'll regret. But we don't always do and sometimes it backfires. My heart goes out to girls that make mistakes and then are forever called names for making them. The guy gets forgiven and forgotten easily, but not the girl.
Which leads me to the question I always get asked: "why don't you work with teenage boys too? And all I'll say is that, as girls we have deep, emotional, thoughts and feelings. We feel many things all at once. Some days we think we look hot, some days we can't get out of bed and face the world. Sometimes we love our friends and sometimes a friend we thought was so great, says something sarcastic or mean in that "nice" kind of way (you know what I mean- you know her too. She wants to make a dig at you, but she does it as a joke or she starts out by saying "no offense") I have a very deep passion to encourage and inspire girls to stay strong, positive and confident. Especially when the world makes it feel impossible.
Always,
Tova
TEENminded.com
