And then there was a knot

At TEENminded something comes up over and over again in our coaching and workshops. And that something, is listen to yourself. Allowing your instinct to lead you. What we at TEENminded call our inner whisper. We all have an instinct- we just tend to ignore it way too often. The whisper soon enough becomes a big loud shout. I heard Oprah say it perfectly once. (Yes, Oprah.) It went something like this: So many people have "cold feet" at their wedding. That it's normal. That were all nervous on the big day. But it's not just "cold feet". It's your instinct telling you something. Your gut warning you, that you're about to make a big mistake.

I was 14 or 15 and it felt like all my friends had either boyfriends or guys that liked them. Anyway, they were getting some kind of attention from the opposite sex and I felt really pressured to be like the rest of them. I pressured myself. I got involved with a guy I knew was totally wrong for me just because I wanted to show myself I wasn't a loser. He wasn't a bad guy he just wasn't for me. I had such low self esteem, I thought this was my answer. The "relationship" basically consisted of AOL instant messenger (in the days before ichat) and getting rides from which ever adult that was willing to drive us. My friends still crack up today when this (very short) period of my life is brought up, because they remember me literally throwing up on myself from being a nervous, immature idiot. I was so uncomfortable pretending to be someone I wasn't. My instinct gave up. And my body sent me a message in the form of a big knot.

Needless to say I learned and I never did that again.

The whisper's there for a good reason. Trust yourself. No one knows you better then you.

Always,
Tova
TEENminded.com