The adventures of mylanta

When thinking about high school- which I honestly do a lot- I think about how hard I was on myself. I have always had a tendency to do that, but I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be. I have learned (a lot of the time, the hard way) to give myself a break and I'm even nice to myself now that I'm reaching 30. I used to beat myself up all the time- don't know how I didn't exhaust myself from all the abuse. Yes, the school I attended didn't help, but I wish I could go back to high school sometimes and tell my 15 year old self to chill out and not let everything be such a big deal. Both my mind and body suffered from the stress and pressure. Yes, the school had a lot to do with it, but I take full responsibility on how I handled it. The fact that I had to carry a little bottle of mylanta with me wherever I went, because I suffered from anxiety and horrible stomach aches, was my first clue that I needed to calm down.
High school wasn't all bad. Thank Gd for the amazing group of girls that still remain close. Some of the best times of my life were shared with them and because of them. Yet, I still focused on all the things I convinced myself to keep thinking. Some examples (and these are the "gentler" ones): stupid, worthless, good for nothing, too sensitive, uptight..... blah blah blah.....
It went by so fast and I spent too much time crying and not enough time laughing. It was a complete waste, spending all that time being utterly miserable. The minute I graduated and all the pressure I had put on myself was gone, I didn't need the green magic bottle of mylanta anymore. No joke.
A few years ago, it dawned on me that-yes the school was hard and everything, but I WAS NOT any of those awful things I listed above. We were NOT put on this earth to abuse ourselves. We are smart, strong, thoughtful....Be kind to yourself today AND tomorrow. Laughing feels, a hell of a lot better, then crying.

Always,
Tova
TEENminded.com